As a collective whole, the cast of Power Rangers RPM is undoubtedly one of the most talented ensembles ever to be squeezed into butt-hugging spandex. From Eka Darville’s recurring stint on shows like “Empire” and “Marvel’s Jessica Jones” to Rose McIver’s starring role as the title hero in “iZombie”, this bunch has talent for days. It was this thought that took me into Blood Punch, the decidedly not-suitable-for-Nickelodeon horror comedy about a love triangle gone cray-cray in the woods.

Filled to the brim with RPM alums, would my affection for these young adults with attitude be affirmed through this twisted affair, or would it prove to be, as with the film’s central characters, a seemingly endless nightmare? Climb aboard the dimension-hopping train as we chug along through a spoiler-filled review, and pray that our sanity doesn’t get off at the wrong stop.

When I mention those RPM connections, I’m really not kidding. Not only are we treated to castmembers who played heroes and villains alike, but the film is written by RPM showrunner Eddie Guzelian (a fact I was unaware of until the end credits) and directed by Madellaine Paxson, who herself penned the episodes “Ranger Blue” and “Prisoners”. Ranger alums congregating for a feature project is nothing new, but it’s certainly the highest concentration of talent gathered from a single season up to the point of its release. And what luck, I actually loved all their work unironically!

Our story featuring children’s TV castmembers begins in rehab (where else?), where struggling college student Milton (Milo Cawthorne) is distracted by the alarmingly blunt new girl sitting in on his regular meetings with a group of addicts. After lighting a ciggy and cussing out the whole room, she just outright states that she’s looking for someone to cook a truckload of crystal meth for her. And, because I wasn’t already having “Breaking Bad” flashbacks, she’s introduced with the name Skyler (Olivia Tennet).

Being the rational guy we soon learn he is, Milton immediately sleeps with Skyler and agrees to help, only to discover post-coitus that he has just bumped uglies with a taken woman. Enter Skyler’s crazy partner-in-crime Russell (Ari Boyland), who appears in a bewildering police uniform after apparently killing the heck out of at least one poor dude at the facility before retrieving the duo. What has Milton gotten himself into?

The bulk of the story takes place at a cabin in the woods built upon sacred Native American land where nothing bad ever happens in any movie, especially in the horror genre. Despite his homicidal tendencies, Russell proves he’s not such a bad guy by assuring Milt that it’s okay that he and Skyler made whoopee. This was all part of the plan to manipulate him into helping, so it’s cool! But Milton is not permitted, under any circumstances, to fall in love with his girl. It seems Russell is a bit late with that warning, because in the long five seconds of knowing her, our intrepid meth cook is smitten with the enigmatic chain-smoker. During a night of drug-addled bonding, Milt learns about the history of these strange lands. The whole area was cursed back in olden times after a huge battle that seemed to go on for days, leaving only one survivor. Gee, I wonder if this random story, complete with hallucinated flashback animation, will become a centerpiece of the plot going forward?

Milton experiences a Movie Awakening, in which he quickly sits upright, disoriented about what may or may not have happened in the hours prior. Between turns on the merry-go-round of mental and psychological abuse that Russell forced Skyler into without resistance, he’s found the time to meddle in Milton’s activity. They meet downstairs, where the previously-believed-kinda-dumb Russell seems to know absolutely everything about Milton’s science-y meth work and decides to cut his losses and just kill Milton now. Before Milt can have his WTF-face shot off, Skyler enters, just in time to reveal that she’s already removed the bullets from Russell’s gun, as his psychotic ways have finally gotten old even for her.

Before they know it, the three are fighting for their lives and the struggle concludes with an arrow stuck through Russell’s back. As darkness falls over Russell’s body, he rudely interrupts Milton while trying to bury him, demanding that Milton ask Skyler how he could possibly know about all that science-y stuff when he was normally such a dunce. Good question, Milt. Better shovel more dirt onto the dying man and hurry off to sleep so it won’t bother you later. Sadly, it takes Milton a while to catch onto what’s happening, as he has another Movie Awakening. The same Movie Awakening, in fact, that he’d experienced the previous morning. In the same spot. Wearing the same clothes… WAIT A MINUTE!

After being greeted by an extremely living Russell, exactly like the morning before, Milt finds himself rushing down to the burial site, shocked to find that Russell’s body remains lifeless, right where he’d left it. But if Russell’s still taking a dirt nap, who’s in the cabin shouting obscenities at poor, messed-up Skyler right now? Bill Murray never had to deal with clones when they did this plot with him!

And so begins a long and bloody gauntlet, in which the heroic Milton and his darling Skyler attempt, ad nauseam, to murder her beau in increasingly gross ways over the course of a good 45 minutes, scrambling as they go to figure out why the day keeps resetting after each traumatizing turn. I especially enjoy the one with the meat cleaver, tossed casually past his throat without looking from across the room, in the middle of a conversation.

It’s interesting to watch Milton’s slow transition from wide-eyed concern over his situation to desensitized boredom at having to blow Russell up with grenades or brain him with a baseball bat. Despite his background, Milton’s not the sharpest of tools, and we did meet him at a point where he had been trying to get help for his issues. A never-ending killfest is probably going to set back his recovery a bit. Even after trying to leave this place, he just wakes up again in the same spot, back in the cabin with Skyler.

Finally, it hits him. This place was cursed after a bloody battle in which there was only one survivor. Even if they keep killing Russell, filling up a pit with his many bodies as they try a thousand different ways to loop a hole out of this scenario, they’ll be no closer to escaping, because Russell alone just isn’t enough. This tale didn’t end last time until all but one was killed. No matter what, poor Milton won’t get the girl, because one of them has to die so the other can live.

Now, you’d think that his choice is pretty clear here. Especially after Skyler takes him deeper into the woods to show him a whole field full of Milton corpses, proving that, in addition to super-killing Russell with him, she’s also been super-killing Milton with Russell too. He just didn’t realize it because his memory always dies with the rest of him and then he wakes up fresh, like it never happened. Alas, young Milt still has a thing or two left to learn.

Skyler’s told him that her feelings have changed and she really does want to be with him, and maybe this is an opportunity for them as a couple. They can just live in the cabin, under a weirdly specific curse that gives them new food and supplies every morning but copies their dead selves into extra living bodies with which to eat, drink, and bang as eternal millennials… K.

Somewhere around here, there’s a plot about Skyler attempting to meet with Russell’s old contacts and sell the drugs they’d been cooking, but honestly, this is where the movie starts getting a little long for me, and I start wondering about random things. Like, if there’s an afterlife, right, with pearly gates and clouds and stuff, does that mean that there’s seven dozen Russells floating around heaven right now because they keep killing him? Do they gather together to welcome their new brother to the fold every time the day resets? I guess he probably wouldn’t be in the “pearly gates” aisle anyway, but by this point in my musings, I’m distracted by the sudden appearance of Nabiki (Adelaide Kane) as one of the cranky goons Skyler and Milton attempt to sell the meth to.

After blithely implying they’ve shared a sexy backstory, to Nabiki’s enragement, Skyler realizes too late that these crooks aren’t letting them leave with the money. More carnage and Movie Awakenings ensue, until it’s finally clear that these two crazy kids just aren’t good for each other. After agreeing to stay at the cabin with Skyler forever, Milton pretends to follow through with his daily Russell-murder to test her loyalty. And Skyler even hangs in there for a millisecond or two as if eternal vacationing with Milt could actually be a thing. Unfortunately, she’s not as pure and holy as Milton hoped she’d be. She shoots him to death to free herself from the curse, assuming that this one will be permanent. When they all wake up and she realizes Milton’s deception, it’s a shock and a half. Guys, this movie is actually pretty clever.

Itching for some righteous payback after overhearing their argument, Russell takes advantage of the lovers spat and knocks them out, chaining them all together in the cellar with a gun. He decides they’re going to play a game of Russian Roulette to decide their ultimate fates. Whoever doesn’t paint the walls with their brains after passing the gun around a few times wins. Despite the fact that whoever has the gun could possibly just shoot someone else, including Russell, this sounds like a good plan to him. And since he’s got the gun, they’re in no position to disagree! It works out for them since he also decides to go first, and promptly kills himself for the last time.

The moment of truth arrives after a fight for the remaining loaded weapon ends with Milton aiming at Skyler. She makes a tearful claim that she knows he loves her, and because he’s a hopeless dope, he agrees, then turns the gun on himself. She tries to stop him, but it’s too late. Over his final, lifeless body, she cries. It’s all over now…

PSYCH! Here comes Adelaide’s Goon Squad, here to collect their bounty and send Skyler to sleep with the fishes. They’ve stepped onto the same soil that had trapped our witless trio for who-knows-how-long, so now they’re about to get stuck too! Skyler can only look at them and laugh, as the nightmare begins anew.

That… was actually kinda awesome. I knew it was a low-budget flick with a bunch of Ranger alums, and a steady diet of such endeavors had trained me to have very specific expectations. I’m happy to say, this is among a small few that surprised me. It’s not exactly fine art, even by horror standards, but I wasn’t ready for such a smartly-plotted film with so many interesting narrative turns. Milton and Skyler have a depth to them that I was unprepared for, accentuated most strongly in their final moments together when Skyler attempts to stop him from offing himself, even though we can sense that it still wouldn’t have ended well if she’d succeeded.

Perhaps it helped that Milo Cawthorne and Olivia Tennet were a couple both on and off-screen at the time, but their performances really shined through the (quite deliberately) cracked-out story. Ari Boyland gets the highest of fives for his delightfully psycho Russell and his ability to make all ten-million of his deaths either funny or disturbing, or both, and he’s still got the most convincing fake accent of all time. Joining the cast for a hot minute was our homie Mike Ginn, as Milton’s roommate at the rehab joint, who gets kicked out of his own room so Skyler can work her magic on Milt. Not doing much, but hey, it’s good to see him, and at least he doesn’t get axe-murdered. Not even once!

As a fan of the genre, it wasn’t a terrible stretch for me to get on-board for this movie, even without the actors a Power Ranger fan might recognize. Squeamish viewers may have a tougher time with the violence that, while often over-the-top and humorous, is still pretty brutal. I had a blast watching the old school practical effects work in play, from the exploding blood squibs to gruesome make-up work for various injuries.

I also loved, though I suspect it was not their intention, all of the times where the movie cuts away to avoid showing what would have been a dreadfully expensive effect that they probably had no money to pull off. It’s just a personal quirk of mine that I actually enjoy sensing the corners that get cut on low-budget productions. It just highlights the great things one can achieve even with somewhat limited means.

And, while I’m just a bit older than the kids in the expected Power Ranger demographic, I can’t help but get a blip of immature glee at hearing the PG-rated heroes of a kids show launch into a string of offensive language as casual as can be. It wouldn’t shock me to hear that the actors enjoyed shedding that image as well, even if it wasn’t for the first time since their days on the show.

Over the years, I’ve seen a lot of movies starring actors from the PR franchise. I don’t know if I’d recommend a lot of them to anyone who wasn’t already intensely interested, knowing full well what they’re likely to get out of the deal. In the case of Blood Punch, we have a film that would stand up to the scrutiny of horror freaks (at least of this variety), that employs real characters, fun performances, and a story that delivers on the expectations its premise sets up for itself, in some cases, even exceeding them. It’s not a great film, but maybe if you squint, you’ll find a good one.

I mean, you know, if… if you’re into that sorta thing.

Shout! Factory’s Gosei Sentai Dairanger DVD collection was the February 19, 2016 “Critic’s Pick” by contributor Robert Lloyd in the entertainment section of the Los Angeles Times.

The elements of Japan’s “Super Sentai” TV franchise are familiar, because we have long since seen them domestically repurposed as “The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.” There are color-coded masked and helmeted heroes skilled in balletic-gymnastic martial arts; giant sentient transforming mechanical animals; monsters who grow big and stomp around miniature landscapes like Godzilla before them. But the unaltered original item has a flavor of its own — at once more spiritual, if that’s quite the word, and more slapstick, more romantic and more comical.

(Courtesy: Digifiend from Rangerboard)

In terms of long term goals, the success of the first Power Rangers movie is significantly more important to Lionsgate than the success of the final Divergent movie. All due respect, the sci-fi teen lit franchise is basically playing itself out at this point, and it’s not like Lionsgate has to keep interest above room temperature in the hopes of spin-offs or prequels or whatever every studio wants to do whenever a franchise ends.

He also gives credit to the studio for snapping up Ludi Lin right before his film Monster Hunt makes big money in China.

(Courtesy: Goseired11 from Rangerboard)

Power Rangers Samurai premieres Monday, February 7th at 8pm ET on Nickelodeon.

(Courtesy: Henshin Grid)

You can pick up a digital copy of this issue from Barnes and Noble, and our Europeans can pick up a copy on newsstands now!

(Story courtesy: SnoopsWarner via Rangerboard)

THE HARTFORD COURANT
June 30, 1995 Friday, STATEWIDE
SECTION: CONNECTICUT LIVING; Pg. E1
HEADLINE: FOR WOMEN WHO LOVE MORPHIN RANGERS TOO MUCH
BYLINE: COLIN McENROE; Courant Columnist

“I get some crazy letters from some older women . . . The strangest one said that she could feel my hair, I’m in her dreams, fate put us together and that I’m a ‘gargoyle of God’ to her.”

– Jason David Frank, who plays Tommy, the white Mighty Morphin Power Ranger

***

Dear Tommy,

Tommy, Tommy, Tommy.

Sometimes, in the afternoon, I am out in my cutting garden, musing over some dreamy puzzle of life such as: assign a hypothetical numerical value to the importance you place on your ability to control the “bad” things in your day and then another numerical value to the importance you place on doing work that is “useful” to others, and divide the sum by the percentage of time you feel bored.

Now think of a fish.

Was the number 7?

Tommy, my name is Gail Sheehy. I am a famous lifestyles researcher, and I love you very much.

Anyway, at these moments, when I am thinking about these questions (such as: How many friends do you have, friends to whom you confide everything, excluding those who share your ability to change into a distinctly different being with a metallic face?), I feel your hair.

Right there in the cutting garden. I’ve got a Hemerocallis “Green Flutter” daylily in my hand. But suddenly, it’s your hair. I feel your hair.

The other night I was having dinner with my friends — Judy Collins, Wonder Woman, Maya Angelou, Linda Ellerbee and April from Mutant Ninja Turtles — and we were talking about our journeys, and suddenly the bite of chicken tarragon in my mouth was your hair.

More than 73 percent of British women over 50 say they can feel hair of a person not technically present if that person is a burnished scimitar of virility poised to guide them on through the passage from semi-provisional middlescence to faux age-inventorying self- forgivenesshood.

Oh, Tommy.

Dare I ask? Does a woman over 50, a woman of passion and mastery, a woman typical of 38 percent of lactose-intolerant women 40 to 55 earning more than $100,000 (pre-tax), does this woman dare ask a sinewy, demi-articulate costumed hominid a question that springs from the very core of her heart?

In an average week, are you more likely to whip-kick an awesomely savage giant crow with fire-spuming artillery mounted on its head than to engage in sexual intercourse?

If you answered yes, which of the following best describes the reasons you feel you are not in a loving relationship?

* Others will find out I am not as good as they think.

* Portly radioactive blue dogs who breathe flesh-rending plasma will take over the planet if I relax my vigilance.

* Chronic constipation/diarrhea.

* Feelings of worthlessness when I see my action figure discounted in stores.

Oh, Tommy, perhaps that was too much.

But is it so wrong of me to want what 62 percent of allergic-to-shellfish Canadian women between the age of 52 and 58 responding to a survey in Wonderfully Complicated Woman magazine said they wanted: to lie back in bed with a younger man who has recently power- chopped vicious purple isotope-festooned iguanas into submission, to feast on his aluminum-tasting kisses while the afternoon light glinting off his space-age plastic helmet plays across the ceiling, to watch him subsequently touch the medallion covering his ripped, washboard abdominals and transform himself into a saber-toothed tiger who bounds out of the room to go fetch croissants and brie?

Because that’s what I want. At this passage, I am 130 percent more certain about 4/5 of the things that claimed 55 percent of my emotional life 8 to 12 years ago.

So I know that I want . . . oh . . . I want . . . oh! . . .

A gargoyle of God.

There. I’ve said it.

Attached is a 14-page questionnaire. Please take time to complete it. Think carefully about the texture and humanness of your answers. You are in my dreams, fate has put us together, etc.

And use a No. 2 pencil.

Power Rangers’ Power Gun/Blade Blaster and Power Morpher

[...] Yes, we couldn’t all live the glorious lives of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers like Jason, Kimberly, Trini, Zach, Billy, and Tommy, but we could dream, and the sweet Morpher that came with the toy set in question went a long way. The Power Morpher lit up, had built-in sound effects and came with all five original power coins. The package also included the super sweet Power Gun, which could convert to become the “Power Sword” (sorry He-Man) for close range combat, and looked like a T-Rex to boot, so dino- awesomeness points have to be awarded for that.

Read the rest of the article to find out what other Power Rangers toy made it on the list, and how far up!

(Courtesy: Jer)

BTW, if you’re not following him on Twitter, get to it!

(Courtesy: barnyardfx.blogspot.com)

Even though I had written and directed for television before, SPD was my first Executive Producer gig. I was brought on to “expand the vision” of the show, and bring a new and fresh element to the PR franchise. My background was in Special FX and Production Design. I don’t know why I am capitalizing those titles, but I guess it makes them look more Important.

I wanted the futuristic Earth of 2025 (yes, 2025!!!!) to be coherent, the environments and the characters all feeling grounded, interactive with each other. The storyline we came up with made Earth a safe haven for aliens, much as the US was to immigrants back when the Statue of liberty was more than a tourist attraction. So it was important to me that there were actually ALIENS in the show, which always seems to be the first thing cut out of any sci-fi TV!

Greg has also posted a lot of pictures of the process, so check them out, and give him feedback on his entry on Twitter!

(Courtesy: barnyardfx.blogspot.com)

What’s Next?

[...] Jesus Didn’t Tap has been sold to our troops and all around the world. I’m donating it to a cause, to the army. I want to help them out. I have a couple more things in mind. I wanna do a lot of things, like women’s shirts for breast cancer. It’s a clothing line to help people out, not just to help me out. It’s helped me through all that I’ve been through in the past year and a half. Whether things are going good or things are going bad, it’s just what you gotta’ do. But I’m a warrior and a trooper and I work through it. There are a lot of things I want to do with it. It’s just a matter of time.

Ann had to this to say, “I really thought it was my last day and I was on the way out. I feel like he’s saved my life and I don’t know what could have happened if he hadn’t come in.

“Everyone in hospital has been calling him a little hero. They said the longer you are out the worse it is for you. He told the staff that he was being Red Power Ranger and was picking me up.”

(Courtesy: Hartlepool Mail)

A Christian himself, the 34-year-old Frank is a decorated karate black belt who teaches at his Rising Sun martial arts gym in Houston. Covered in muscles and tattoos – including a giant Jesus Didn’t Tap on his forearm, a likeness of four-year-old daughter Jenna on his chest and a variety of gambling designs on his beefy left bicep – the kickboxer says he hopes his product does some good.

“I sell shirts to all sorts of people because I don’t really judge any of them. I’ve got people coming up that are stumbling drunk buying a shirt and I feel if they buy that shirt they might wake up in the morning and go ‘Hey who bought this Jesus shirt? Wow, maybe I should go to church.’

“I’m just trying to reach out to as many people as I can.”

Frank proudly talks of the e-mails from customers “saying how they bought a shirt and it changed their life.”

“I had one guy bought a shirt here and he said ‘You know I had 20 kids in his basement and we saw this on Thiago Alves when he beat Matt Hughes (at UFC 85 in June in London) and I had to explain to all the kids what that meant, so I had like a little preaching ceremony going for about 30 minutes or so.”‘

Frank says the company is getting so many prayer requests, “it’s almost like a ministry in itself.” So he brought his aunt, a pastor, on board to handle those.

Who knew he was such Jesus homeboy? I can dig it. Now, if only the store didn’t have pink shirts for women. *points to name of site*

(Courtesy: jkahn913 from Rangerboard.)